i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize