I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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