White coat. Heels.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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