i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize