I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
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i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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