You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize