that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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