Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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