You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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