I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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