best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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