so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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