youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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