Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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