Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize