White coat. Heels.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize