Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize