Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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