She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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