fuck your aforementioned shoe
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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