She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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