If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize