My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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