we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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