These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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