Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize