About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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