shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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