Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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