are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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