At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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