you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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