the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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