I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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