Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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