Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this beer tastes like vomit already
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize