Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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