best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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