I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize