No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize