ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
