So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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