you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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