You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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