i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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