Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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