apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize