i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize