dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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