we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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