I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize