they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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